How does the voice of your negative belief system sound? Do any of these sound familiar?

You are worthless, useless, a failure, lazy, ugly, a mess, non-deserving, not good enough, unlovable, stupid, fat, etc etc etc! 

What sort of negative thoughts go through your mind? How do you speak to yourself?

Where as positive beliefs are generally like your supportive best friend, negative beliefs can really be a pain in backside as they can try and prevent you from achieving the fabulous life that you truly deserve.  They can stop you starting something new and they can feel like a lead weight around your neck.

 What is your belief system?

Your belief system is like a big storage sack in your body which contains your so called ‘ truths’ or everything what we believe to be true about ourselves, other people and the world around us. It is a really important part of our lives, yet most of us are not aware of its existence and do not pay much attention to it.

In relationships, a negative belief such as ‘I am not good enough’ can cause you to lose confidence in yourself and doubt your ability to get what you really want. This belief can stop you taking care of yourself and cause you to stay in a bad relationship because you fear being alone for the rest of your life.

To you, your beliefs are your ‘truths’ and not only do you totally 100% adamantly believe them to be factual; you experience everything in your life through these ‘truths’.

 I estimate that about 70% of the world’s population, on some level, carries the negative belief that they are unlovable. The bad news if this is allowed to run riot, it will virtually guarantee that your external world will reflect this belief back to you.  If this is one of your ‘truths’, you will find yourself acting out in ways which support that belief. You will not leave a bad relationship because you think nobody else will love you or you may avoid taking any risks in life as you are afraid of failure. You may also self sabotage any efforts you make to make improvements in your life and avoid people and situations that can help you break out of your self-defeating patterns because you will feel uncomfortable about doing so.

So where do these troublesome beliefs come from?  Yes, you have guessed it, from our childhood days – but we not playing the blame game on our parents here. When we are children, our subconscious mind is like a tape recorder, recording all the messages we hear around us.  As the analytical part of the mind is not fully developed until around age thirteen, the subconscious just accepts and believes whatever it hears from other people as being the truth and feeds this into our belief system. 

So, as young children, our self image and beliefs are formed by what we have been told by others. As children, we were all programmed to believe what our parents told us weren’t we? Just hearing the words ‘Oh, you are a naughty girl’ or ‘you are such a loser’ can start negative beliefs to form and then over time, we are convinced that these messages are true. These beliefs then get additional reinforcement over the years from other people or situations. 

But hey, here is a little secret I will let you into… are not that child anymore and you no longer have to listen or believe this rubbish. You wouldn’t believe everything you read in a newspaper which was printed the year you were born would you? Of course not. Things have changed and progressed over time, and so should your belief system!

 How to Change your Belief System

1)  Make a list of your negative beliefs. Awareness is the first step

2)  Look objectively at your list and work out where you think it came from. Who said it? Where did it come from?

3)  Next to each negative belief you have identified, write down what you did well in the past. For example, if you have a negative belief that you are a bad person, look for examples in the past where you helped somebody successfully.  Write down as many examples as you can.

4)  Make a decision to send your internal negative chatterbox on holiday for a week!

5)  Use affirmations to change your beliefs. For example, if you believe you are unlovable, start affirming to yourself ‘ I am loved and I am loveable’


Lisa Phillips is an experienced Life Coach and author based in Sydney, Australia. She has run her own coaching practice for over 9 years and is a regular contributer to many magazines.  Lisa is also an NLP Practitioner.Lisa is the author of the popular inspiring DIY Coaching ebook which reveals everything you need to know: from achieving exciting goals, to identifying and releasing toxic emotions. This book allows you to easily take action to feel good EVERY DAY! See website for details and how to sign up free for Lisa’s newsletter. can also follow her fun blog at
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