Negotiations may be seen as involving two parties who each want different outcomes and are attempting to find a compromise that will suit everyone. Your expectation may be based upon a belief that the other person might not like your offer or suggestions. On the other had your belief may be that basically both parties want the same eventuality and all the negotiations are for is to iron out a few wrinkles.
You can see here how your own expectations at the outset can affect both how you feel about and how you deal with your negotiations. This is why a mediator is most often sought to take the heat and intensity out of dealing with your own matters, be it negotiation a divorce settlement or a house purchase. You cannot help being emotionally affected by the things that matter most to you.
If you watch programs such as “House Hunters” you may have noticed, as I do, how each person deals with the emotional processes involved in moving one’s home. Some people are really picky and seem to look for the loopholes before they look at the good points of a property. You hear people say “I don’t like that paint color”, or “I don’t like those tiles” or “I wanted granite work tops”.
It’s amazing to me that these things are immediately noted and commented upon despite the fact that the room itself is fabulous and would suit your needs incredibly well. Those who are more open and positive will always add something to the effect that those things are not a deal breaker or are easily fixed. The range of attitudes that are displayed can prove to be interesting to observe.
It is said that moving home or getting divorced are two of the most stressful situations to have to deal with, and in both cases it is easy to feel out of control or totally overwhelmed. That said it is also incredibly important that you control your emotional reactions and remain as calm as possible.
The physiological effect of perceived threat, which is what stress is, means that your body goes on “high alert”; your body is poised ready to fight or flee. Neither option is what is required in situations of modern day stress, but this is how your body responds as a result of genetic evolution. Your breathing becomes shallow, your heart beats faster and adrenalin surges through your body like the proverbial bull in a china shop.
One of the easiest ways in which one can stop this reaction, or check it quickly, is to focus upon your breathing; as you focus on deep and even breaths your body begins to calm and relax. You can in this way move from that position of high alert to one of focused attention; this of course is a necessary state when you are in a situation that requires negotiation skills. And self hypnosis provides another way in which one may control their emotional reactions.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads for health and well being.
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