Nothing happens without motivation. Motivation is the power we use to set things in motion, including ourselves. Without motivation nothing changes, in fact nothing moves. Motivation is the positive energy we use to spur us to action,and this positive energy consists of our positive feelings. Feelings like optimism, joy, enthusiasm, confidence, passion, hope, faith, belief. Without this constant flow of positive energy our action falters and stops, is inconsistent or weak and uninspired, repetitive and dull and consists only of our response to necessity, things that have to begrudgingly be done: go to work, pay the bills, meet obligations, etc. Without internal motivation the spark in us and in our lives dies, yet we all know how hard it gets sometimes to keep that spark alive.

Many times, we rely on external motivation to get going, especially when the going gets tough. We rely on surrogate coaches like family and friends to give us a boost, to support, encourage us and give us praise for our efforts. Many people lose their emotional, internal motivation for long periods of time, and often resort to taking motivational courses, or seminars, reading motivational books etc. They get enthusiastic for a while, and then fall back to their inertia, flat lifeless feeling, discouragement, reduced energy levels, etc. The reason for that is that the motivational messages received are not fully internalized, they remain an external stimulus which when removed simply stops to have an effect.

Lasting motivation can only come from within. Lasting motivation comes from our feelings, and a lot of our feelings are a result of our self-talk. When do we most need the help of a friend or a coach? When our self-talk is negative, when we feel powerless, helpless, hopeless or stuck. When we say no to ourselves, no to our dreams, no to life. But we cannot always rely on external motivators like friends or coaches to provide us with support, help and pep-talks. We need to learn to coax and coach and pep-talk ourselves; we need to learn to be our own best friends and coaches.

So what does a good coach do? First of all he listens with an open mind and tries to understand our current situation and feelings. A coach asks us clarifying questions about what it is that is bothering us, about where we are and where we want to go. A coach then quickly helps us focus on solutions, ideas, plans. A coach supports and provides us with the emotional fuel to implement our ideas. A coach applauds and congratulates us on the slightest sign of success and progress. A coach asks empowering questions to help us get around a challenging situation, obstacle,or quickly correct a mistake.

A coach has patience and composure and knows that all things take time to evolve. A coach maintains a positive attitude at all times and keeps us focused in a positive direction. He tells us things like “this is a brilliant idea”, “you can do it”, “you’re making a lot of progress”, “look at what you’ve already done”, “keep working on it”, “you’re doing great”, “well done”. He tells us most importantly “make a start”, “take the first step”, “just do it”! He’s there for us always with a positive attitude, always with the right words that will trigger our positive emotions once again. He knows how to turn around our negative feelings and negative self-talk by superseding them with his enthusiasm and constant pep-talk.

So let’s emulate this ideal coach, take responsibility for our motivation and become our own best coach.Let’s learn to give ourselves the necessary nudge to push us out of our place of discontent, boredom, fear, hesitation, inertia, avoidance, procrastination, self-doubt.

Let’s say yes to our dreams and aspirations and then continue to be our own best coach by silencing our negative self-talk, and replacing it with positive encouraging pep-talks to ourselves.

Let’s say yes to ourselves and yes to life. Let’s just do it!

Hi, I am Ismini Apostoli and I am a psychotherapist working in Greece. In addition to in-office therapy my services are open to people from all over the world, through online counseling by emails.
I work with individuals, couples and families in order to resolve a variety of issues, like depression, anxiety, stress, couple and relationship issues.
I also particularly enjoy helping people enhance their self-esteem, uncover hidden talents and abilities and develop their potential.
I invite you to visit my site at where you can get to know me better and read some more of my articles.
You can also visit my blog for articles, tips and practical resources for attaining your dream life.

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