Saying NO can for some people be one of the hardest things to do, the feeling of letting someone down, of disappointing them, the feelings of rejection and hurt all play with our emotions and in the end saying yes becomes the easy thing to do. However what is saying yes all the time doing to us, our health, relationships and family.

So why do we say yes all the time, well it stems from a simple little thing called, wanting to belong. We all want to feel that we are loved and that we all belong. As children growing up we have always looked for love and affection, for people noticing us, caring about us and for us to belong within our family structure. It is this upbringing that we are now paying for as adults in life.

Is it possible to say yes to absolutely every request? A course not, so we have to become good at saying no and get back our life.

If saying no is a difficult thing to do a simple solution is saying I will get back to you, this will buy you so time to work out whether you really want to do this or not and work out another solution if required. It also means you won’t hurt anyone’s feelings in the process.

We all know it is not realistic for people to expect us to always be there, to attend everything they ask us to or to be at their call day in and out. So why is it that we tend to find ourselves saying yes to things that we really do not want to be doing? Why do we not instead just pick and choose the things that we really want to attend.

A simple solution to this problem is to limit yourself to so many yeses per month. Let’s say you have 10 yes in the month and once they run out then you have to wait for the following month. This gets you really thinking about how important the event is before saying yes to it. It makes you aware and it makes you focus on the event rather than just automatically saying yes because that is the habit you are use to.

Saying no to friends, family and people that care about you will not change your relationship with them, and if it does how good of a friend are they really? Give it a go and start saying no to people and see how much more time it gives back in your life for really important things.

Michael Griffiths is the CEO and Founder of Secrets Of A Super Life, providing individualswith personal development strategies to increase their purpose, passion, happiness and lifefulfilment. For your free Life Success Resources visit
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